Many of us have seen the cute little sharing test videos of parents with their young child, where the young child is put to a test of what we collectively view as morality, or fairness, or socialization norms.
There might be cookies on a plate, where one of the parents have one cookie, the child has two cookies, and the other parent has no cookie.
Sometimes we are hoping the little kid will give one of their cookies to the parent with no cookie. But that doesn’t always happen.
Sometimes little kid winds up eating all three cookies, since the one parent is just staring at the cookie like a dummy, I suppose the kid is very pragmatic and thinks, what you waiting for?
Sometimes the little kid eats their two cookies, then takes the cookie from the parent with a cookie and gives that cookie to the parent without a cookie.
And yeah, sometimes the kid gives one of their cookies to the parent without a cookie.
It’s… cute.
But is it reasonable? Is it realistic?
One in particular really got me thinking. The parents put candy under a red solo cup, two under the child’s cup, one under one of the parent’s cups, and none under the other parent’s cup.
Then they lifted all the cups. The little kid was looking back and forth at the two parents. Finally the one parent eats their prize, leaving two in front of the little kid.
After what felt like a very long time, the little kid took one of their candies, put it on the plate of the “non winning” parent, then put the red solo cup back on the candy, and pulled it back off, revealing … a winning candy!
And it got me thinking.
That same little kid is going to wind up in a world of “haves” and “have nots”, of “winners” and “losers”. In a very big way.
We do this.
- We enter our little kids into spelling bees, to be “better than the next kid” and get a trophy.
- We enter beauty pageants, to show that we are prettier than the next.
- We encourage our children to get good grades and “break the curve” if at all possible.
- We fight for our football team to crush the other team.
- We join race teams, to run faster or ride faster than the next fellow.
- We race sailboats (or at least I do), and fast… real slow… all to win a cup, or sometimes it is just to win a shirt or a drink at the bar, or sometimes it is just to win bragging rights.
This world, or at least this country, is all about keeping up with the Joneses, whoever they are.
So, I ask, what’s with the stupid little cookie game we play with our children? Because we only do that before they experience the world.
But truly, there is a nuance, a dichotomy in this world where both Competition and Collaboration can exist. Sometimes competition may lead to an even more satisfying solution.
And now, to think, are you going to share your hard earned Halloween candy with your neighbor?
The Instagram video that started me thinking:
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